Terraforming Mars until 1am is a war crime, honestly. We had a guy like that too, Dave, who would spend 20 minutes counting every single card in his hand like he was defusing a bomb. The kitchen timer thing is genius though, especially the whole thing where people start planning on other turns. Nothing says strategy like panic and a beeping clock.

The "take the forklift cert at night" line is funny because a buddy of mine did almost the same thing. He was two years into a criminal justice degree and broke all the time, then his cousin told him to get a security guard license at a community class. Cost him like $150 and a weekend. He had a job at a hospital within two weeks making $19 an hour with benefits. He finished school part time after that because the job paid for some of it. Honestly that one cert did more for him than the whole first two years of classes.