Overheard my neighbor saying she 'prefers fair weather friends' and it hit different

I was watering my plants last Saturday and caught my neighbor Linda on the phone saying she actually prefers fair weather friends because they don't dump heavy stuff on her. At first I was like, wow that's cold. But then I thought about my own circle and how drained I feel after my friend Jenna calls to vent about her divorce for the third time in a week. Is there a middle ground between being a emotional sponge and keeping everyone at arm's length? Has anyone else figured out boundaries without losing people?

2 comments

2 Comments

jana_miller3116d ago

You've been thinking about this too, haven't you? I really felt that part about the emotional sponge, it's like you're supposed to be there for them but nobody asks if you're okay. I had a similar wake up call when I realized I was just absorbing everyone else's stress and my own life was falling apart. There's definitely a middle ground where you can say "I can't handle this today" without being mean about it. Setting small boundaries like not answering the phone when you're already tired has saved me from losing friends but also kept my own head above water.

zarap1416d ago

@jana_miller31 that boundary about not picking up the phone when you're already tired is so real. I actually read this article about "emotional capacity" and it talked about how you can't pour from an empty cup, lol. Linda might have the right idea honestly, keeping those lighter friendships for the good times so you don't burn out. I've started doing something similar where if my friend calls to vent I'll say "I've got 10 minutes then I have to go" and it's wild how much that helps.