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Why I stopped following the 'cut all contact' advice with my ex-coworker
A few months back I posted here about my old manager who kept texting me after I left the job in Portland. Everyone said block him, zero contact, it's the only way. But I sat with it and realized he wasn't being creepy, he genuinely asked for help on a project I'd built, and I actually still cared about the work. So instead of ghosting, I met him for coffee last Tuesday and walked him through the spreadsheet for about 45 minutes. He wasn't trying to pull me back in, he just needed one person who remembered the quirks of the system. I know the usual advice is hard boundaries, but for me, a one time assist actually gave me closure and kept the bridge intact. Has anyone else kept a door open to an old workplace person and found it actually helped your head instead of holding you back?
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verac4011h ago
Portland is a small town in some ways and that coffee turns into a monthly check in, then he's asking you to review a doc, and six months later you're basically consulting for free. The spreadsheet quirks were his problem to solve when you walked out the door, not yours to keep carrying.
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