Got told I was too nice in my mod notes and it totally shifted how I handle bans

Last month, a long time user on my gardening forum messaged me privately saying my public moderation notes were 'painfully passive aggressive' even when I thought I was being gentle. I went back and read my last ten warnings and yeah, she was right. Stuff like 'I understand you were excited but please try to follow the rules next time' which sounds fine but reads like a parent scolding a kid. I started writing them like I would text a coworker. Simple. Direct. For example: 'This post broke rule 3 because it had affiliate links. I removed it. Please read the rules again.' No apologies, no fluff. My repeat offender rate dropped by like half in just three weeks. Has anyone else had to change their tone like that?

2 comments

2 Comments

the_lucas11d ago

Big time. I run a small community myself and had to learn this exact lesson the hard way. Once I stripped out all the 'I understand' and 'sorry to bother you' crap, people actually started taking the warnings seriously. Direct and polite without being mushy is the sweet spot. Took me about a month of catching myself to really lock it in.

walker.robert10d agoMost Upvoted

Did you ever think about changing how you handle warnings instead of just the notes though? I found that if I give people a short time to fix the problem themselves before a ban, they tend to take it better. Like a warning that says "you have 24 hours to remove the affiliate links" instead of just telling them it's gone. It gives them a little control back. Just a thought from someone who has seen both sides of this.