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Hot take: it took me 3 years to learn that texting to hang out once a month isn't friendship
I kept wondering why my friendships felt thin even though I saw the same 5 guys regularly. Then it hit me: I was only reaching out when I needed something or when a group plan popped up, never just because. So I tried a dumb experiment for 6 weeks where I sent one random text per person per week, no agenda, no asking for anything. Took me way longer than it should have to figure this out. At first it felt weird and forced, like I was doing homework. But by week 3, two of them started texting me first, which almost never happened before. The real shock was how much better I felt just knowing someone thought of me on a random Tuesday. It cost me nothing but time and a little awkwardness. Now I'm wondering if anyone else had to learn this the hard way too, or did you just naturally keep up with people?
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rileyowens13d ago
Did you notice the random texts felt less weird once you stopped expecting a reply? That was the big shift for me. I used to send stuff to friends and then sit there checking my phone like an idiot, and when nobody answered I'd take it as a sign they didn't care. What finally worked was sending things that needed zero response, like a pic of something that made me laugh or a song I knew they'd like, and then just putting my phone down. After a few weeks the replies started coming back on their own, and a couple of guys actually began sending me stuff first. The thing is, nobody had been ignoring me on purpose, we were all just waiting for someone else to go first. Doing it with no strings attached made it feel way less like homework and more like just sharing little stuff throughout the week.
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