Is it worse when a friend cancels last minute or when they show up but clearly dont want to be there?

Last Saturday my friend Maria and I had plans to hit up this new taco place in Austin. She texted me 20 minutes before saying she was wiped from work and asked if we could rain check. I was annoyed but honestly kind of relieved because I was also tired. Then two weeks before that, another friend showed up to my birthday dinner at a crowded bar, sat on her phone the whole time, and left after 45 minutes saying she had an early call. That one stung way harder. I keep going back and forth on which is the bigger friendship red flag. The cancel gives you a heads up but still feels like a rejection. The half present friend makes you feel invisible while they are literally sitting across from you. Which one have you dealt with and how did you handle it without blowing up the friendship?

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