Okay but "simmer them long enough in just water" is the key thing you said. I've done that too and you DO get flavor, it's just a different kind. The oil soluble stuff gives that deeper, rounder taste. For a clear veg stock, try cracking the bay leaf in half before you drop it in. It helps a bit more of whatever CAN come out in water actually get out.

Under the porch steps too? That's terrifying.

My buddy had that exact problem with his deck. He ended up hand-sanding the whole thing with the grain using a sanding block, which took forever but finally got rid of the swirls. He said the orbital just dug in too much on the softer parts of the wood.

Funny how we all have that digital graveyard. I just started by dumping all the duplicates into a folder called "oops." It's not organized, but at least it's a smaller mess now.

The volume in here is unreal today.