My roommate's "quiet hours" spreadsheet made me lose it last Tuesday

So my roommate Dave printed out a color coded schedule of when I'm allowed to make noise, down to 15 minute blocks, and taped it to the fridge. He said it was because I ran the blender at 7am for my protein shake and he could hear it through his wall, even though he plays Xbox with a headset till midnight. I get wanting some calm, but a full Excel sheet with 47 rules about vacuuming, dishes, and even when I can close my dresser drawers is nuts. I told him straight up that I'm not following a chart in my own apartment, and now he's sulking and blasting lo-fi music at 2am on purpose. Anyone else get hit with a rulebook instead of a simple conversation? How do I get him back to normal without moving out?

2 comments

2 Comments

emma_mitchell37m agoMost Upvoted

Did the spreadsheet include a section for "times Dave is allowed to be a jerk about it"? @alice808 is right, that chart isn't about being organized, it's about avoiding a real talk. I read somewhere once that people who micromanage schedules like this usually do it because they think listing rules will make them sound reasonable, when really it just makes them look unhinged. The part about him blasting lo-fi at 2am tells me he knows exactly what he's doing, so maybe skip the 5am smoothie threat and just start closing your drawers slightly louder than normal. That'll get the point across without turning the whole place into a noise war.

alice80819h ago

Tbh I used to think people who made schedules like this were just super organized and it was their way of coping. But then my old roommate did the same thing with a whiteboard and 30+ rules about when I could use the bathroom mirror, and I realized it's not about control, it's about them not wanting to have an actual face to face talk. Dave printing a 47 row spreadsheet instead of just saying "hey the blender wakes me up" is a huge red flag. Honestly you should just tell him directly that you'll do your best on the blender but he needs to drop the chart nonsense, and if he keeps playing music at 2am you'll start making smoothies at 5am.