Just realized I was asking my clients the wrong questions for years

I used to start every interview with "Can you tell me about your childhood?" and got nothing but vague rambling. Last month a therapist friend told me to ask "What happened when you were eight that you still think about?" and suddenly got real, honest stories with actual details. Has anyone else found a single question that cracks people open?

2 comments

2 Comments

robert_craig13d ago

Oh man, that's a great tip. I've been in similar situations where asking broad questions just gets blank stares or a lifeless timeline of facts. Asking for a specific age or moment feels like you're giving them permission to be real, not just recite their life story. I bet that question works because it's concrete, it's like handing someone a key to a specific memory rather than saying "open the whole house." Thanks for sharing this, I'm definitely going to try it out with a couple of people I've been struggling to connect with.

aaronf4013d ago

Respectfully, I see it a little different... sometimes asking for a specific age or moment makes people freeze up because they can't think of something good fast enough. Leaving it broad gives them room to wander and land on something they actually want to share, even if it takes a few seconds of silence.