My sister told me to 'just be myself' at work and it backfired hard

She said be authentic. Let people see the real me. So I did. I cracked jokes at my new job. Made sarcastic comments like I do with friends. Three weeks in my boss pulled me aside. Said I wasn't taking the role seriously. Almost got put on a PIP. Turns out her advice works for her because she works in a creative agency. I'm in a corporate bank in Chicago. Different worlds. Now I just smile and nod and keep my mouth shut until I know people better. Has anyone else gotten bad advice from family about workplace friendships?

2 comments

2 Comments

nora1845d ago

I mean the "just be yourself" advice is honestly one of the most misleading things people say. It sounds good but it ignores that being yourself at a bank and being yourself at a creative agency are totally different things. I've noticed a pattern where people assume workplaces are all the same friendly community when really every job has its own unspoken rules about what kind of personality fits in. Your sister probably meant well but she forgot that the real you needs to figure out the room first before cracking jokes or being sarcastic.

quinnmitchell4d ago

Doesn't that just sum up every awkward first week at a new job? I had a friend, @nora184, who took the "be yourself" advice literally at a law firm. She walked in on day one cracking jokes about the printer being possessed and the coffee tasting like burnt regret. The senior partners gave her this blank stare like she'd grown a second head, and she spent the next six months trying to undo that first impression. It's a nice idea in theory, but the room tells you way more than a pep talk ever will.