My mom's 'emergency fund' request hit a new high of $5,000

She called last night asking for help with her property taxes again, which is a regular thing. But this time the number was way bigger, and she just expected me to cover it. I'm 32, and I just realized I've given her over $15,000 in the last three years for various 'crises'. It matters because I'm trying to save for a house and this is stopping me. How do you even start that talk about cutting off the money without it blowing up? Anyone had to set a hard limit with a parent?

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3 Comments

susan_hall7mo ago

My neighbor's mom drained her retirement fund the same way.

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river_burns7mo ago

Setting a limit is totally needed, but calling it "cutting off" might make the talk harder. Maybe frame it as changing how you help, like offering to sit down and look at her budget instead of just giving cash. That shifts it from a no to a different kind of support. Have you tried pointing out how this is affecting your own goals?

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the_margaret5mo ago

Oh honestly, I don't think it's that deep. People act like a little cash to a family member is going to ruin their whole life. If she's an adult she can figure out her own budget, she doesn't need someone to sit her down and teach her like a kid. And the whole "affecting your own goals" thing sounds kind of selfish honestly. It's her mom, not some random stranger. Sometimes you just help family and move on, not make it into a whole counseling session.

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