Just picture the factory worker on the toaster line, sighing and dropping in the sacrificial charred slices like it's part of the quality control checklist. Gotta admire the commitment to giving you the full, authentic burnt breakfast experience right out of the box. At this rate, your new TV will come with a permanent fingerprint smudge in the corner from the warehouse manager adjusting the picture settings. Honestly, their new "pre-damaged" line is getting out of hand, it's like they're charging us extra for the surprise.

Seriously, the best menu from a dead oven?