The time I got canceled at my own book club for sharing a hot take on a popular memoir

I host a monthly book club in Portland, and last month we read that bestselling memoir about leaving a cult. I brought up that I thought the author exaggerated some details for drama based on interviews with former members I found online. Half the group got quiet and one woman said I was 'invalidating trauma' and spreading misinformation. Now two people left the group chat and I'm wondering if I should apologize or stand my ground. Has anyone else been shut down for questioning a popular story in a small group setting?

2 comments

2 Comments

leo_harris3d ago

...and honestly that's exactly what happened to me when I questioned a popular true crime book at my own group. I found some pretty clear inconsistencies in the timeline from court documents, but bringing it up got me labeled as a victim blamer. What worked was I reached out to the person who got most upset privately and just said "hey I wasn't trying to attack anyone, I think the author probably had good reasons for changing things but it bothers me when facts get twisted." She actually admitted she hadn't looked at any other sources and just took the book at face value. We didn't become best friends but she stopped treating me like a villain, and I learned to save my research talk for people who actually want to hear it.

patricia424h ago

Good for you, it takes a lot of guts to smooth things over like that and sometimes a private chat is all it takes.