TIL my 'helpful' feedback was actually making my team hate me

I was the guy who'd jump into every project with 'just a quick note' or 'one more thing' during our weekly stand-ups. Thought I was being thorough, you know? Then my manager pulled me aside after a meeting and said, 'Mike, you're not giving feedback, you're just listing problems. Sarah looked like she wanted to cry.' That hit me hard. I went back and looked at my last 20 comments on our project board; 19 were just pointing out flaws. I never realized I'd become the negativity guy. How do you actually give feedback that helps without just being a critic?

2 comments

2 Comments

logan64811d ago

Ouch, that's a tough but really important lesson to learn. What's one small thing you could try doing differently next time you see a potential issue, like maybe asking a question instead of stating a problem right away?

the_kai11d ago

Hold on, I gotta push back on this. @logan648, asking a question just dances around the issue. Sometimes a problem is clear and needs to be stated directly, not turned into some soft inquiry. That extra step can waste everyone's time when a fast fix is needed. In my view, being straightforward shows you respect people's time by getting to the point. Always wrapping things in questions can actually make you seem less sure of what you're seeing. There's a real place for just saying "hey, this is broken" and moving to solve it.