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Rant: My best friend moved to Portland 3 years ago and I still haven't visited
She asked me to come out for her birthday last June and I said I couldn't afford it, but really I was scared of flying. Now she's engaged and I feel like I missed my chance to be there for the big stuff. Anyone else let fear of something small wreck a friendship?
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reese_taylor696h agoMost Upvoted
@victorross yeah that rest stop story hits hard. Bet your brain was just running wild with worst case scenarios. Here's something nobody mentioned yet: maybe the fear isn't really about the flight or the awkwardness. Could be that deep down you know friendships change after big life stuff like engagements and you're scared of seeing that change face to face. Easier to keep the old version of them alive in your head than risk finding out you're not as close anymore. Portland and 3 years is a long time for people to grow apart without even noticing.
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victorross7h ago
Drove halfway across the country once to see an old friend and chickened out at a rest stop two hours from their place. Sat in my car for 45 minutes thinking about how awkward it would be after not talking for two years. Turned around and drove home. Never told them why I cancelled. They don't even know I was that close. Still feel like a jerk every time I see their name pop up on social media. Point is, you're not alone in making dumb decisions based on things your brain blows up way bigger than they are.
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