Seven years is a long time to carry a free throw, and I would push back on the idea that you figured anything out. That miss mattered because of where it happened, not because everyone was watching. Church league games have maybe forty people in the stands, half of them related to somebody on the floor, and the truth is most of them forgot your name by the time they hit the parking lot. The ones who did notice probably felt bad for you, not judgmental, because every single one of them has bricked something in front of a crowd that size. What you are calling a spotlight moment was really just an ordinary choke that happens in every gym in America on any given Sunday. If anything, you are the only one who kept the tape rolling, because nobody else had a reason to. The bigger losses faded because they were shared and processed, but this one stayed private and that is the whole trick your brain is playing on you.

Walked into a record shop in Portland once and they had like 60 copies of the same Huey Lewis tape taking up a whole bin. The owner swore they were gonna move eventually, it's been years and last I heard they're still there.