That story about the scarf pattern, @susan76, is wild but I totally believe it. Honestly, it makes me wonder what the real line is between talking about the book and just using it to fight about our own views. Like in your case, was the fight really about the character's choices, or was it a deeper clash over what being a strong woman even means? Tbh, I'd be nervous to suggest the next book now.

That's just how some people see the web.

Honestly, that sounds like a pretty basic shop rule to me. I've seen guys skip the double-check on fit-ups all the time and it usually works out fine. Maybe you just got unlucky with that one thick plate.