Okay so "patchy brown spots" is the phrase I'm gonna grab here because have you STOPPED to consider that maybe those brown spots are from OVERWATERING this whole time?? Like Greg's secret isn't that he waters at 3 AM, it's that he probably waters LESS total. You saw one number drop and got hypnotized. Water pressure changes by like 5 percent at night, that's nothing compared to how much water you're dumping on dormant grass. And the "actually looks greener" part is just your brain playing tricks cause you watched it every morning. You went from $86 to $71, that's not a revolution, that's also the weather getting cooler. If night watering was really that magical EVERYONE would do it. Next he'll tell you the moon phases matter too.

Honestly that whole manager napping thing is a huge red flag lol. But here's something nobody talks about - those cheap office chairs they stock in cubicles are literally designed to wear out your spine so you have to replace them every 2 years. It's like printer ink scam but for your back. I read somewhere that most corporate furniture is made with the cheapest foam and plastic that fails fast, forcing companies to buy more. Meanwhile the manager is sleeping on a $2000 ergonomic chair in the conference room they probably ordered for themselves. So you're not just getting wrecked by sitting, you're getting wrecked by a system that profits from your pain.